I refuse to be tested. Nope, I’m not going to do it.
I understand that you’ve been hurt and I empathize. He was dishonest, disingenuous, and a huge disappointment. You vowed you would never allow a man to treat you that way ever again… never!
So now, potential suitors are kept at arm’s length and they must pass a series of conscious and/or subconscious tests you administer to prove that they are nothing like your ex.
You are convinced that all men are good at the start, but eventually, all men will show their true colors. It’s just a matter of time until I begin displaying the behavior that is as characteristic to my gender as my beard!
But you’re wrong.
What you don’t realize is that I genuinely like you. I pursued you with purpose. I attempted to court you and my only desire was for you to like me… not just me but the authentic me. I was patient as you tested me and I passed every test. I navigated through and around the obstacles, you placed in my path but not once did you reward my determination or my consistency. Instead, you waited for what you are convinced is inevitable. Eventually, your fears became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At some point, I grew weary of your artificially created impediments to our relationship and I gave up. I saw no advantage in continuing to give and receive nothing in return. I walked away and you convinced yourself that my inability to endure your unnecessary tests was proof that I was not the one.
Meanwhile, the man who caused this distrust has moved on with his life with no thought or consideration to the chaos he’s caused.
My unsolicited advice: treat every man according to his own individual merit. Reward behavior you enjoy, admonish behavior you don’t like. Leave the past where it is.
You don’t need tests… you only need time. Time reveals what your obstacles cannot and will not. Time exposes inconsistencies and inauthentic intentions. Be cautious, but don’t be a hindrance to everything you’ve been wishing and praying for… true love.