The intoxicating feelings of blissful elation produced by experiencing true love and happiness can be extremely addictive. Those wonderful feelings are so desirable that some daters find themselves relinquishing full control of their emotions, words, and actions to their well-meaning but unqualified hearts. The unskilled heart is guided purely by desire as it makes regrettable decisions that lack proper vetting with empirical evidence, observable proof, or indisputable facts.
Date with your mind, not your heart! Be logical in the dating process. If it doesn’t sound or feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust, loyalty, and vulnerability should not be offered or made available until you witness consistent effort and sustained alignment of words and actions. Don’t allow yourself to be swept off your feet until you are able to truly trust the person sweeping.
Ask lots of questions and use your critical thinking skills to guide you through the process. Remember, the truth is consistent and requires no embellishments. Don’t willingly fall prey to deception. Set honesty as a nonnegotiable expectation early on in the dating process.
Never sacrifice or lower your self-worth. No one is worth compromising the values and standards you’ve set for yourself. Allow yourself to fall in love but be very mindful of the descent. You are both entitled and worthy of having everything you desire and need.
Set goals! Have a vivid description of what you want and what you will not tolerate. Do not allow charm or physical attributes to justify lowering standards or excusing unwanted behavior.
Understand that there are people out there who are very skilled at dating and creating attraction but are inept at maintaining healthy relationships. Learn the difference. In the end, you are responsible for how you allow yourself to be treated. You are not to blame, but you must shoulder a significant portion of the burden to ensure that the love you seek is the love you receive. Love and pain do not harmoniously coexist. If you are experiencing an exorbitant amount of pain in a relationship, then what you are feeling is at the expense and sacrifice of love.
Dating should be a slow, methodical process of enjoyment and discovery. Avoid trying to rush to the good part. Your haste may cause you to miss glaring red flags or unacceptable dealbreakers. Be patient and don’t allow the erroneous fear of loneliness to imprison you in an unsatisfying situation. Take comfort in knowing that the person you are dating is not the last eligible suitor on earth.
Think your way to love, because an admirer’s ability to stimulate your mind and logically prove their intentions should serve as the primary prerequisites for capturing your heart.