1. If you actually slept with all those women you’re constantly chauffeuring around and buying meals for, you’d be at elevated risk for various STDs.
2. All those lunch, coffee, and gas purchases are also probably good for frequent flyer miles (or whatever) on your credit card. What’s in YOUR wallet???
3. If you find you actually enjoy/have a knack for listening to women talk about their problems, you might just have a future as a therapist, social worker, or gay best friend.
4. You’ve probably got a taste for girls who are pretty screwed up in the love department. Trust me, you’re better off without ‘em.
5. You never have to worry about not having a condom handy at a crucial moment, ‘cause let’s face it…
6. Helping all your lady friends move, grout the tile in their bathtub, etc. is good exercise, and might just help you to develop a marketable skill.
7. You’ve always got plenty of fodder for a good internet rant.
8. You’re unlikely to ever get your comeuppance for all the girls you’ve tried to steal away from their boyfriends.
9. Sexual frustration produces plenty of energy that can be channeled into other endeavors.
10. When you finally meet a girl who actually likes you, you’ll appreciate it all the more.