So Who Do You Want To Be?

Life can be hard. Life can throw you curveballs. People can get stressed and issues can arise. As I sit back and reflect on my past experiences, I think about how I handled issues within my past relationships. I ponder upon my interactions with strangers. I think about how I’ve become a better version of my self throughout the years. Reflection allows room for growth.

When you’re upset, emotions are at the forefront. I remember a time when I would be so focused on not only the issue at hand but who the other person was being during that confrontation. Focusing on what that person was doing or who they were being didn’t create a space for my own accountability. It created a vicious cycle of blame and hurt. Take that accountability and make it your own. People will meet you where you’re at. You will either rise and bring them to your level or you will sink to theirs; that the vicious cycle I spoke of. Respond with anger and words of hurt and often you will be met with a similar reaction.

What we should be focused on is who we are being in that present moment.

When you allow blame and emotions to go before your conscious thought it’s a recipe for disaster. You are not in control and you allow your emotions to make rash decisions for you. Decisions in how you respond, your body language and the things you say. You can be hurtful. You can do or say things that you can’t reverse. You end up feeling worse than you already do. Self-control is important. When we touch on a topic such as control, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t usually our emotions and having control over them. Mainly because emotions are natural, necessary and our own. We accept emotions easily. Self-control over heated emotions allows you to choose who you will be during an issue. Being conscious of your feelings and how you’re reacting can help you choose to do better, if you so allow.

Who are you being? Are you being logical? Are you being kind, while still standing within your beliefs and personal boundaries? Are you responding from a place of respect or a place of emotion? Who do you need to be in order to create solutions?

Stop. Breathe. Align with your conscious thought. Choose.

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Normal is defined by the majority; I'm the only one living my life. Follow Toni on Facebook or read more articles from Toni on Thought Catalog.

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