14 All-Too-Real Parenting Books For The Moms And Dads Of Today

mom dad and child walking

“No, Sweeties, Mommy and Daddy Hate You Both Equally”

How to handle sibling rivalry with brutal honesty and humor

“Ha ha ha! You Lost Again!”

Learning how to play competitive games with your child by teaching humility and grace through constant defeat and parental taunting.

“Daddy, Why is Mommy Drinking Wine by The Empty Fireplace Crying Again?”

Teaching your children pity with these 50 fun role plays for the whole family.

“No, Pumpkin, Life Just Isn’t Fair For You.”

Helping your self-centered child get over themselves, fast.

“Yes, Kids, Our Divorce is Entirely Your Fault.”

Our 25 favorite, clinically-tested April Fool’s Pranks that can be used successfully throughout the year.

“Tired of Being a Fed-Up Parent with a Sore Throats?”

Use Lengthy Silent Treatments, the Subtle Art of Ignoring and Advanced Miming Techniques on Your Annoying Kids.

“No, You Shut the $%&# Up!”

How to win all disputes with your argumentative teen!

“You’ll Leave This Table Without Finishing Your Vegetables Over My Dead Body!”

How to raise healthy children using a wide variety of highly realistic-looking threats.

“Drop and Give me 20 Again, You Maggot!”

A 365 day desk calendar showing how to adopt an aggressive boot camp-style approach in all facets of parenting from toilet training to temper tantrums to minimizing alcohol consumption.

“Scaring, Freaking Out and Psychologically Tormenting Your Highly-Anxious Child”

How to help your overly-sensitive child de-stress and relax in the safety of their own home, while also providing hours of off-the-charts hilarity for all.

“This Hurts You, Only You. I, on The Other Hand, Feel and Look Spectacular.”

How to thoroughly discipline your children, while maintaining a positive outlook on your own life.

“Well, What Would You Suggest, Sweetie? I’m all Ears.”

Giving your children the illusion of democracy while still enjoying all the benefits that absolute power brings.

“Guess What, Kids? Great News! The Dog Died!”

Teaching kids the lighter side of death and grief using cartoonishly silly sock puppets.

“Fight, fight, fight!”

Behavior modification using reverse psychology on your children. We guarantee this will either work or give you the sadistic pleasure of watching them beat the crap out of each other.

“How Daddy Screwed Up His Life, Again. Part 12.”

Using bedtime stories, family meals and long, slow drives to kid’s lessons, activities and playdates as free therapy sessions. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Tommy writes humorous stories on relationships, parenting and life.

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