Riding the bus becomes more and more depressing the older you get.
The designated driver: Whilst drunk, other drunks are the only other people you want to be around. When you’re the sober one, however, a car full of drunks is your worst nightmare.
A self-checkout becomes a checkout if you buy booze.
The internet gave birth to its most recent child with the video “Too Many Cooks.” It originally aired on Adult Swim at a 4am time slot sandwiched in-between some infomercials.
For everyone that was wise enough to choose the life of fun in the sun while getting paid, congratulations. You were at least, at one point, making the right decisions in life.
When it was all said and done I had sent out over 100 resumes and cover letters, and had moved into five different places in 6 months. Your 24th year on this planet may or may not be as all over the place as mine, but either way I thought I would pass some things I learned last year onto you:
4. Do not, under any circumstances, cry noticeably in public.
It’s getting to be that time of the year again when people in relationships have to pretend to care about it, and single people have to go out of their way to pretend not to care about it. That’s right; it’s almost Valentine’s Day.
Fear the sleep-leaner.
You’ve jumped on more hay bales than trampolines