College is in full swing now, and if you are doing college right, and own a house near campus, you’ve probably had a few parties that got a little bigger than you expected. Here’s five ways to kick people out of your party if things get a bit out of control:
1 Say The Cops Are Coming
Worried about underage drinkers at your house party? Nothing clears out minors from a party faster than the slightest whisper of the police showing up. I recommend just whispering that the cops are out front to a few of your friends at the party at first to see if those whispers pick up. If that doesn’t work you can try yelling, but the risk of yelling that the cops are here is that people will call your bluff, and you’ll get nowhere with clearing out your place. Also, if you try this too often people will think of you as the house that cried wolf, or rather cried pig.
2 Kill The Music
This one’s pretty straight forward, but surprisingly effective. Being at a party without music is like being a new cast member on The Walking Dead; you don’t stick around for too long. This usually works the best for smaller parties where awkward silences are more likely. Keep in mind however, with everyone carrying around music on their smart phones you’ll have to make an excuse on why you can’t get their music to play. I suggest using the excuse of the system overheating. People tend to accept that as an excuse.
3 Herd The Crowd Out Like Livestock
This is usually only effective in a very overcrowded party. A few years ago, I witnessed this strategy firsthand, and I must admit it was actually pretty effective. The strategy involves waving your arms like an orchestra conductor, shooing guests, and yelling the word “zah” repeatedly over and over at houseguests until they leave the party. This event inspired me to add “zah” to the urban dictionary. You can read the full urban dictionary definition explaining the process in greater detail here.
4 Claim It’s Someone’s 21st Birthday
While not everyone will be convinced to leave right away when the house owners claim they want to go downtown, most people will however be sympathetic enough to leave for someone’s pass into alcohol adulthood. Everyone loves a 21st birthday, so why not give the people what they want and clear out your house at the same time. Also, if you can keep the lie going long enough you may convince some people to buy your 21st decoy a free shot later at the bar for their “birthday.”
5 Become Out Of Alcohol
If you’re hosting a keg party, and you want people to leave, it’s a relatively easy fix. Placing the red solo cup over the tap is the universal signal for “this keg is empty.” With no booze, people will quickly lose interest in the party and look to go somewhere else. Combining running out of alcohol and killing the music is a deadly party killer combo. If you’re not hosting a keg however, you’ll have to be a bit cleverer with your excuses as the party was probably then a B.Y.O.B. situation. If you live in the house, try asking people around the house for beers explaining you ran out. It may not deter people from leaving, but at least you’ll score a few free beers before someone breaks your TV.