10 Dead Giveaways That You Have A Toxic Friend

Flickr / Elena Fidanovska
Flickr / Elena Fidanovska

1. They don’t trust your advice.

Of course if you know yourself to give bad advice, then that is another case. If you are sincere and truly genuine when you advise them but they never seem trust your advice, then it’s probably because they are never genuine advice-givers themselves and assume that even their closest friends are out to sabotage their life, they same way they do to YOU. They will commonly claim that you are too critical or too opinionated, even though they will come to you for advice, they perhaps cannot handle the truth, nor appreciate that you care enough to be honest with them.

2. They have an inferiority complex.

“Anything you can do, I can do better”, is their life motto. They are too insecure and try as hard as they can to make you insecure. They always feel like you two are in competition and will always try to one-up you. They will compete with you (and everyone around them) in everything you do, until they are sure that they are “better” than you. They always think that you and the rest of the world are out to get them, so they act out aggressively and passively, even to beat you when your down or use your weaknesses against you.

3. They do not know the meaning of loyalty.

This is a big one! And I’m not going to explain what being loyal means, it would take pages and paragraphs, that’s a blog for another day. Loyalty is something one should already know and it should come to someone without hardship or struggle. Being a Leo with my moon in Libra, anyone who knows me knows that my life motto is “loyalty & good intentions.” You can’t have a healthy relationship or friendship without loyalty. That’s all relationships of any kind really are.

4. They are constantly complaining.

Nothing is more draining then having the person you spend most of your time with constantly complaining every petty thing. People are aloud to complain, and as a friend it is your duty to listen and help if you can. But when they are complaining about every event in their life and that like I said earlier “the world is out to get them”, it could be quite draining, especially when they never have anything positive to say. They naturally are pessimists, and honestly you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

5. They are transparently jealous.

Yes, the green monster in everyone. A toxic friend will be possessed by it, live by it, and act by it. A true friend will be happy to see you succeed and will know that when you succeed, they succeed. But a toxic friend will not only want what you have, but wants you not to have it. It could be material things and sometimes they could be personality traits, boyfriends, and talents. They will make their jealousy evident with their fake and shallow responses to your succession.

6. They are a trash talker.

If this friend is constantly “complaining” or “venting” about you to other acquaintances or even mutual friends, but have never confronted you about their issues, then it’s not innocent complaining, it’s trash talking. For example: “She is such a whore,” is not the same as, “It’s annoying when you flirt with the guys I like.” And if that person can’t see the difference, then the problem is as clear as day.

7. They are hypersensitive.

Sensitivity in fine, its normal actually to an extent. It’s good to feel things, and no one should be ashamed of that. But being hypersensitive is dangerous, and for the sake of this article, it’s toxic. Not just to that person, but to their friends and everyone who loves them. No one wants to tip toe around someone’s feelings, that makes the perfect recipe for a disastrous relationship. A toxic friend will get upset with you because they will always think every comment is subliminally about them. You start having to be careful what you say, what you tweet, what you blog, what you Instagram caption, or even the playlist playing from your iPhone, and so much etc. They will always think you are indirectly talking about that, hence the “inferiority complex” I mentioned earlier.

8. They are completely self-centered.

One should never confuse being confident with being self-centered, because they are polar opposites. When everything revolves around them, things can get ugly and things can even get hurtful. If you are trying to open up and they cut you off to “relate”, and completely forget you were trying to tell a story, then it’s time to find a friend who’s a little more empathetic.

9. They expect you to be just as fake.

A toxic friend will give attitude, the cold shoulder, or completely bicker with you because you don’t agree with their harsh, irrational judgements of other people. They will talk crap about strangers or other friends and hate the fact that you either don’t agree, or defend them. They will always wish you were just as fake and judgmental. To top it all off, they will complain that someone did them wrong and you being the loyal and real friend you are, will confront the issue to said person, but that toxic-complainer friend will deny ever saying anything and act like their friendship is as flawless as a bed of roses. Then you’re left there looking like the bad guy.

10. They are a manipulating opportunist.

An opportunist can mean multiple things, but each version is just as bad as the other. An opportunistic friend can only be “loyal” or “true” when you are doing something for them and building them up and as soon as you have nothing left to give, they go back to being as insensitive and cruel as before. Also what’s worse is mixing opportunity with straight rotten fakeness. If your toxic friend is always complaining and talking crap about mutual friends, then happens to LOVE them when you guys get in a fight or argument, then that’s as toxic as it comes. Some will go as far as manipulating the situation so those friends end up thinking you’re the one who has been talking crap about them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog