If it hasn’t happened yet, it will one day: You will finally grow tired of dating girls who look hot, but have absolutely nothing going on under the hood. You will crave a little intellectual stimulation. No, scratch that. You will crave any intellectual stimulation. But when that girl you were chatting up on Tinder or at the local Starbucks, the one who seemed to actually have a brain, gives you the cold shoulder, you will wonder: What am I doing wrong? Well, a lot of things, actually.
1. Smart girls like guys who can converse in complete sentences.
Sentences that have a noun, verb and maybe even an adjective. So those texts that say, “Whassup?” or the ever-popular, “Hey!” will probably go unanswered.
2. Smart girls like a guy who actually has something to say.
Again, “Whassup?” or even “What’s up?” is not the way to start a conversation. Show her that you have something to bring to the table. Try this, instead: “I just watched this great (non-action, non-lowbrow-humor movie). Have you seen it?” If she says no, then you can impress her with your cinematic knowledge. If she says yes, you can engage in a thoughtful discussion.
3. Smart girls know all of your lines—all of them.
They’ve heard them all before. This does not mean you should come up with new, original lines. They’ll recognize those, too, for what they are. They’re smart, remember? So how about you use no lines, none at all.
4. Smart girls have lives of their own.
They will not live their lives for you. They will not hang on your every word. Plus, they know that if things don’t work out, they will need others to fall back on, and they won’t have those others to fall back on if they spend every free moment with you. So give them their space. Do things without each other sometimes. It will give you more to talk about when you are together.
5. Smart girls have opinions.
You don’t have to agree with all of their opinions, but you do have to respect them. Telling a girl, “That’s crazy!” is not the way to show respect. Saying, “Really, why do you think that?” is. Plus, it shows that you actually know how to carry on an intelligent conversation.
6. Smart girls hate it when guys play games.
So stop it. Just stop.
7. Smart girls can tell when you’re using a thesaurus.
Do not use big words that you don’t really understand in an effort to impress a girl. She will not be impressed. Why? Because she knows what those words actually mean, and she will think, “God, this guy is an idiot!”
8. Smart girls like guys who know what’s going on in the world around them.
Yea, it’s great that you know about the new, hot restaurant in town or which bar makes the best drinks, but do you know anything about politics? And, no, by anything I don’t mean which senator is the latest to be caught sending dick pics. I mean, do you even know the names of your senators, even one of your senators? If your answer was, “Wait, my state has more than one senator?” just give up now. You will never date a smart girl.