Yes you do. You can’t help it. You remember every little thing that happened, and you replay it in your mind. Over and over again like that annoying song that you can’t get out of your head. You lost someone. Sucks right? And you miss them. A LOT. But they are gone now, and you’re trying your darn best to deal with it.
Over thinking is a killer- it twists and muddles everything up in your head, and makes things worse than what they are. And with thinking comes remembering, which leads to that aching feeling in your stomach. That gut wrenching stabbing sensation. Where you will yourself to stop thinking about them but you can’t. You want to talk to them, to hold them, but you can’t. You yearn for one more moment with them, to make things ok again, but you can’t.
You think about them when you wake up, before you fall asleep, in the middle of class, work, heck even standing in the aisle at the supermarket. You listen to songs which remind you of them, you see them in other people, you look for them in every bar, and you remember the things they said and the way they used to look at you. You can’t block it out. Even when you’re busy, as soon as you have a second to yourself they cross your mind again.
And you wonder if they think about you too.
We think. We think because we are human and humans feel pain. We need to break down events to process them, and try to figure out what the hell happened. In a state of denial we panic, and in panic comes over analyzing. But the over analyzing and the over thinking is fine. It’s good to feel everything, and to not block anything out. It means you’re alive. You don’t have to numb yourself. You will heal in your own time and thinking will hurry the process along. Time (and thinking) is healing.
So if you catch yourself thinking about them (again) smile, because it means they were worth remembering, which means you didn’t completely waste your time.