1. Will the recruiter notice the zit on my face? I knew I should have used that miracle-zapper cream my friends rave about…
2. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOP – OW, STOP PUSHING ME!
3. I’m bringing more copies of my resume next time.
4. OOOH, LOOK AT THOSE LIGHT-UP SPEAKERS!
5. Meh, I’m not really interested in that company.
6. But those light-up speakers look really cool, so maybe I should talk to them to get the swag about any positions open.
7. WHY CAN’T I FIND COMPANY-OMG-I-LOVE-THEIR-COMPANY-X???
8. I have spinach on my teeth?! Oh silly me, it’s just my imagination.
9. Welp, I have never heard of half of these companies…
10. They must be startups.
11. Lemme just sneak into the bathroom really quick to look up what your company actually does so I don’t sound like I don’t know anything about what your company actually does.
12. Can you STOP talking to the recruiter? Seriously, it’s been TEN FRICKIN MINUTES.
13. Why is he wearing JEANS? Does he even want a job?!
14. I’m really thirsty. Is there a drinking fountain here?
15. I have waited 30 minutes in this line. MOVE IT PEOPLE!
16. Does my breath smell bad?
17. ONE MORE PERSON TILL I GET TO MEET THE RECRUTER OMG YASSSSSS
18. Please don’t ask me what your company does. I still have no clue even though I looked it up a minute ago.
19. The recruiter definitely didn’t like me.
20. I totally blew it.
22. JK I REALLY NEED A JOB SOMEBODY HIRE ME
24. The company over at that end seems really cool. Maybe I’ll go and talk to them.
25. [insert motivational quote here]
26. Thank goodness for second chances.
27. Repeat steps 1-26.