How To Open Up After Your Past Failed Relationships

Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi
Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi

We’re all a little fucked up. We all have our story, our heartbreaks, our bruises, and our scars. Some may be deeper; more permanent than others, but it doesn’t make one less prominent than the other. If I have learned anything within the last year it’s that I’m not the only broken one out there.

Whether it is a pigheaded malicious scumbag that treated you less than what you are worth or it’s a friend that you realized is just toxic and bringing you down…it doesn’t matter. We all know pain and we know pain in our own way.

The best advice I can give-and I should probably start following it myself- is to realize that girls aren’t the only shattered souls. The guys have been through a lot too and they’ll be the first to deny it and try and prove how strong they are. When it comes to relationships, though strength isn’t a factor. It’s not what matters.

What matters is who’s there willing to see the flaws, see the heartache, and look past what you’ve been through. Not just about who’s there to break down the walls you have up but also who’s willing to let you break them down as well. I am a true believer in loving yourself before you ever let someone in that deep. Why?

Because you’re truly the only one that you’re sure will ALWAYS be there. Sure. That sounds depressing and negative as fuck, but tell me I’m wrong. How many times in your teenage years have you believed you’d always have that one person there? Your boyfriend. Your best friend. Your college roommate.

Listen to what I’m saying. If you promise yourself that you will always be your own best friend, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with who shows up to help mend your broken heart. I’m not saying I don’t have best friends. I do. Just enough to know that i will never be alone in my life. But sometimes, no matter how well someone knows you and how close they are to you.. They just can’t relate on a spectrum you need at that moment.

The rules on opening up after having your heart broken? Easy. Learn from the past and apply it to your future. But I promise that is easier said than done. So the best advice I can give is to not live with regret or grudges. Don’t bring your past demons into a new relationship.

There’s no reason a new guy should have to take the wrath of the last jack ass in your life. Why? Cause maybe this guy isn’t that bad. Maybe he actually is different. And you’ll never know if you don’t try. Open your heart again. Don’t close yourself off to love. I’m broken to pieces but if there is one thing in the world that I will always, always stay true to it is this: I would rather have my heart broken ten times over again than never have loved once. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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