When You Don’t Have The Closure You Need To Move On

Have you ever been in a situation where you can see where you want to be and you know how to get there, but you’re missing something? Missing the one tool to close one chapter and open the other? Closure. This seven letter word is what I have accepted as my biggest weakness. I am the type of person that absolutely needs closure in any situation to accept and move on.

Normally I do not hold back in getting it. I will go straight to the source and hear what happened on their side. Whether this is about a friendship or a relationship, I never hold back because I know that I am that person that will lose sleep over it. But what happens when it isn’t that easy to get the closure? What to do when you’re stuck between the heartbreaking answer and the suspense of not asking the question?

I have recently gone through a realization that sometimes not asking the question is just as painful as the answer would be. It is taking the saying “stuck between a rock and a hard place” to a new level.

Either you put yourself at risk for the truth or potentially not even getting an answer or you live the rest of your life wondering why.

I’ve found myself weighing the two possibilities while realizing that I am the only one who will be affected. Either way, you’re out there doing whatever you have been doing since it all went down, never looking back and never letting it get to you. Then there’s me, constantly dwelling on the events and the aftermath.

I feel like a little kid with a scraped knee and bandaids that just won’t stay on. I wish that I could tell mommy what happened so she could make it all better. That’s the thing — sometimes there are hurts that you need to feel and you need to let destroy you so that you can start again and build an even stronger you.