The Art Of Letting Go Of Expectations To Focus On The Good

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Corey Motta / Unsplash

I’ve always been a super reflective person—it could just be my Pisces tendencies of introversion or the fact that I’m constantly questioning who I am and what I stand for. But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that self-discovery is a very rough unfinished road with no final destination. You just should be brave enough to embark on the road trip of life without expectations.

Last year I quit my job. I was single, jobless, and homeless, all at the ripe age of 27. I had convinced myself that in a year’s time, I’d pack my bags and head to the big apple, a dream city I’ve always imagined myself living in. But, here I am… a year later, now 28 years old— with a decent job that’s not in New York and living with my boyfriend of a year. I never would’ve expected this.

Sometimes things may fall apart in order for other things to fall into place. Earlier this week I read something from Girl Boss, it said, “The most effective way to manifest the life of your dreams is to make feeling good your top priority.” And, I’m doing exactly that.

I’ve decided to focus on my personal growth and what feels good to me. I’ve let go of expectations to focus on the good things that life has to offer. My manifestations are actualized because I’m chasing what feels good, spiritually, and letting go of fallacies and no longer restricted by my own expectations.

Here are practical ways to help you make feeling good a top priority:

Take time for yourself

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s necessary. Hitting pause on life is also necessary. I’ve found that taking time to sit in the sun or relax and read a book is the most important thing to do in self-care and self-preservation. Another practice is learning how to reject the fear of missing out. Just try to sit at home with yourself, it’ll save you from self-overexertion as well as an overdraft bank account.

Quitting my job last year was the best thing I’ve ever done. I had time to binge Netflix, go to the gym, eat health meals—I could reset. I encourage everyone to seriously log offline, cancel plans with friends, and take the time they need. Make time for yourself and take time for yourself.

Force yourself to live and think outside the box

Set intentions to make conscious efforts to get outside your comfort zone. Attending a networking opportunity at least once a month or working on a passion project to keep your ambitions fueled, pushes you to grow in new areas. Make time to have a little fun and live a little, force yourself to do the things you wouldn’t typically do, the only rule is that it has to make you feel good while doing it.

Find Passion Projects

Finding out what your passionate about can help maintain sanity. If you’re not getting what you need in your 9-5 job, then create it. It’s that simple. Figure out your likes and dislikes. Passions lead to fulfillment and fulfillment feels good. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, get out of the house and meet people who know what they’re passionate about. One way to learn more about who you are is to stay curious. Talking to other people can help you discover shared interests or characteristics. It can also inspire you and motivate you in a different way.

Sleep

Remember to relax and rest your body when needed. The whole, “team no sleep” mentality we’ve all been fed, is a lie. YOU NEED SLEEP. We all do. Listen to your body if you’re tired. You’re a lot more productive and capable when you’re well-rested. And, don’t rush yourself either. My friends hate that I’m always late to gatherings or girls’ night out but taking my time is important. Take the time you need for yourself without putting unnecessary pressure to be at a certain place by a certain time. Go at your own pace, it’s the best way to stay in synchronicity with yourself.

Listen to your heart and go with your gut

Blame my Pisces tendencies again, but whenever my intuition is off or something doesn’t feel right—I flake. Practicing discernment and deciding what feels right to you is about listening to your heart. That voice in the back of your head telling you to quit your job, or move across country—listen to it. Lead with your heart. You should take a risk to reap a reward.

Always go with your gut feelings, it can act as your own personal guide to help you navigate the world. Not everything is a guaranteed master plan that will work out in the end, but regardless of failed attempts or heartbreaks, continually live with an open heart. Do yourself a favor and find a reason to hope in every situation.

Lastly, let go of ANY expectations you may have

Letting go of expectations and letting go of “should” is my salvage. I’m 28, not married, and haven’t purchased a house, but I stopped holding myself to my 8-year-old expectations for my life or what I should’ve accomplished by now. 8-year old me, would’ve thought that by now I would’ve had it all figured out, you know the whole bit—married with a baby carriage. But, I’m not even close to my premature naive ideals and I don’t want to be. Learning to eliminate expectations for myself, taking accountability for my own actions, and not expecting much from others was liberating.

We should let go of the image we once had of ourselves. And, stop comparing your life to someone’s success story or putting them on a pedestal. Forget about holding yourself or others to expectations, and instead try focusing more on yourself and focus on what feels good. If that means focusing on personal growth and development more than professional development, then that’s okay.

Practice staying in alignment with your greatest good. Start with all the things that feel good to your spirit, a power nap, a nice long shower, or listening to music, etc., (you get the idea). Everyone is different but when we expect less and do more of what feels good, we become more content with our overall direction of life. The road trip doesn’t seem as long or wearisome.

Promise yourself that you’ll start making decisions based on what feels good to you and eliminating everything that doesn’t. Remember to take time for yourself, especially if you need rest or sleep. Don’t forget to listen to your heart and always go with your gut. Let go of life’s silly expectations or the vision you had of yourself 15 years ago. Things are different now. You have the power to remake yourself in your own image. Failing or starting over is okay. Just be grateful and live in the moment without expectations. Now, get ready to focus on the good and put your life in cruise control. TC mark

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