30. Gratitude is key. This sounds easy, but let me explain.
The key is that gratitude is not a balancing test. Don’t just be grateful the ‘extra’ things your spouse does, be grateful for every.single.thing.
If you shop for food, then prep it, cook it, then clear the table, then load the dishwasher, then clean all the pots and pans – and then later your spouse empties the dishwasher, thank them for doing that, and feel it.
To me, this is a hard thing for people to do, and it is such a huge part of the happiness in marriage. It leads to a feedback loop of appreciation for the little things as well as the big.
It makes it more likely that your spouse will appreciate you and (unless you married a terrible person) far more likely that they will do more.
You will also see more of the things they do.
This isn’t just ‘stuff,’ but anything. Grateful for listening, for sharing, for sitting on the couch, for having your child etc. etc.