29. The fucking Lioness of Brittany! Jeanne de Clisson.
My favorite woman in all of history.
She was a noble woman and her husband was executed on charges of treason and she was PISSED. She sold off all his lands and estates, everything and used the money to buy 3 ships that she had painted black and used red sails. They became known as The Black Fleet and they struck fear and terror into the hearts of many frenchmen as she massacred them. She would kill everyone but one or two dudes that she left alive just to tell the story and help spread the fear, she was basically the origin of a lot of pirate fiction. People were fucking terrified of her. She even put coastal towns and fortresses to the sword and torch.
France fucked her. So she fucked France. She teamed up with the brits to secure their supremacy over the english channel and all that good stuff. She wasn’t in it for profit, duty, or anything else, she was just there to fuck france in any way she possibly could. Her flagship that she captained herself was called My Revenge.
Best part is, she fucked france until she was either 50 or 60 years old and her ship was finally sank, but she survived. But she figured she’d fucked them hard and long enough and was getting too old for this shit, so she retired and married an english noble and lived the rest of her days with him.
Interestingly, Charles de Blois was the one who fingered her husband and accused him of treason. This asshole later became a catholic saint. Those catholics will make anyone a saint if they’re popular enough, regardless of what they do.