11. I knew a guy who had surgery and afterwards wanted to go home. Just… He wasn’t recovered enough to and the nurse wasn’t gonna let him get up yet.
He turned to the nurse and said: “You may not realize this, but I’m a ninja and we heal three times faster than normal people.”
At that the nurse stopped trying to keep him in bed, he stood and immediately ate the floor.
12. My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is: “This is better than meth.”