57. My old man had a vasectomy after my younger brother was born and when he woke up after the surgery he couldn’t find his dick… because it had been taped to his leg.
Immediately starts freaking out, as one does when their penis is M.I.A
“NURSE! NURSE! WHERE’S MY DICK?!”
58. I was recently being put under for a colonoscopy. They were adjusting my legs and such so my ass would be in prime camera insertion positioning.
Just as they had me move my knees a bit higher up I said, “Yup, just like prom night”
Got the anesthesiologist to laugh before I went under.