26. When I was 9 and having jaw surgery, the surgeon was putting me under and said, “Say bye to your mommy!” And apparently 9-year-old me thought that meant they were going to kill me. My mother says I gave her a look of absolute terror and then passed out.
27. When I was coming up from shoulder surgery on a pretty substantial dose of fentanyl, my wife told me that I looked at the head nurse and said, “Your boobs are spectacular, I want to see them.” I have no memory of it, but apparently the wife was mortified, and the nurse thought it was hysterical. She also said it wasn’t particular unusual to get comments of that sort.