1. If a child is having a meltdown, ask what color their shoes/shirts/pants/whatever clothing their wearing are. This distracts the child long enough to stop them in the midst of their meltdown because they haven’t thought about what they’re wearing.
2. To get a newborn to burp: Sit them on your knee, holding them under their armpits, and move their upper bodies in a circle several times. Like a reverse hula move I guess. I learned it from a neonatal nurse, and it’s almost infallible. So much faster and more reliable than regular burping.
3. If you want to enjoy some time undisturbed tell your kids that you’re taking a nap and when you wake up all of you are going to do chores together. They’ll want to let you sleep as long as possible to avoid doing housework, so they’ll leave you alone to actually nap or do other things like read.