Begin from the understanding that men may be microwaves but women are crockpots. We may heat up just as often as men, but we do it slowly. We don’t naturally go from completely cold to burning hot in a matter of minutes. We love nuance and feel bored by the plainness of vulgarity — that should come when the mood is set. Think of it like your focus should be on leading the horse to water instead of asking it a million times if it’s thirsty (or worse, dunking it into water it’s ill-prepared for).