40. I was very sick, puking, shaking, sweating, and feeling like I was close to passing out on the bathroom floor.
He was playing on his phone the entire time. Not scared of puke, just completely uninterested in my well-being.
41. During our 15 year marriage he’d go through phases of being an absolute fucktard for no reason. I’m talking going from the nicest guy on the planet who couldn’t do enough for you to an absolute monster who would use anything good he did as ammunition. I didn’t understand it but it was only a few times a year and people have ups and downs so no biggie. My mum and sister are the same so I was used to it and conditioned from childhood to just deal with it.
It started happening more regularly towards the end – so much so that I used to joke that he must have taken on PMS because I didn’t suffer from it.
Fast forward to divorce and the guy I saw during those phases is the guy I now see all of the time.
I realized that the nice guy persona was all an act and it was a lot of hard work to keep up. This extreme up/down is now a major red flag for me. I’ll take an even level of good/bad over extreme shifts both ways.