1.
I don’t think any name is a 100% giveaway but I’ve met a lot of dumb Ashleys.
2.
Aiden. Jayden. Braiden. Caleb.
Every single person with one of these names is a literal baby. And there’s so many. I’ve seen/know of tons of babies with these names, but have never heard of an adult with one of these.
3.
Trent 9/10 is a douche.
4.
Richards are all dicks.
5.
Brandy—if you meet her, she’s either a redneck or was raised by rednecks. I live in a small town in Texas, 3000 people maybe, and I know at least 10 Brandys.
6.
Candi = Daddy issues.
7.
Every Nicole I’ve met seems to be a great person at first, but then they turn out to be complete bitches that think they’re right about everything. I may or may not be a little angry…
8.
Idk, every Hannah I’ve ever met turned out to be a mega bitch.
9.
Kevin. It’s not just a name, it’s a diagnosis.
10.
I’ve yet to meet a Tiffany that I like, but I’m sure there are good ones out there.
11.
I know 4 Joes and they’re all 6 foot plus and ginger, I don’t know if this is some weird coincidence or a worldwide problem.
12.
Most Daves I’ve met are actually super fucking hot and witty and charm their way into knowing the intricacies of your genitalia and then don’t call you back until 3 months later cause they’ve been soooo busy with that merger.
…fuck you, Dave.
13.
Every Naomi I’ve met was kinda slutty. But you know what they say, Naomi backwards spells…
14.
John = a generally cool guy. Never met an unlikeable John.
15.
Chad. Not even trying to make a joke here, seriously all the Chads I’ve ever met are douchebags.
Edit: Same goes for Brett. Has anyone met a decent person named Brett? Because I sure haven’t.
16.
Whitney = raging fucking cunt.
17.
Every kid named Wayne is fucking crazy.
18.
Deb or Deborah. Middle-aged woman who frequents Wal-Mart and has a cat named snowball.
19.
I’ve never met a Jennifer who isn’t a bitch.
20.
Steve. Every one I’ve met and heard of is a fucking asshole.
21.
Lindsey is always a slut. ALWAYS.
22.
Any name that ends in an “I” that should end in a “y,” like Kelli or Staci or Jenni, always a slut.
23.
I’ve never seen a Chaz that I didn’t want to punch in the face.
24.
Any girl’s name which starts with V:
• Victoria
• Vivian
• Vicky
• Vancy?
Is a vain, vindictive bitch.
25.
Every Brad I ever met has been someone’s crazy friend Brad.
26.
Keith. So boring. Sorry, Keith.
27.
I used to work in tech support.
It seems to me that anyone with the first name “Chase” is usually the type of idiot that makes you question whether it is a prank call.
NO, SIR, THE VIDEO CARD WILL NOT FIT IN YOUR LAPTOP!
28.
Erin is usually pretty chill.
Brittany is a fucking slut.
Megan 1 step classier than Brittany, still a slut.
Chad truly is a douche.
Danny is a pretty relaxed, well rounded individual.
Scott is an incredibly average white male who wears glasses more than half of the time. There is nothing unique about him.
Alex is unknowingly very good at most things he tries.
Brett/Brent/Brandon is an intellectual, conceited stoner who happens to play baseball.
Jeffrey is really fun to get drunk with.
Tommy/Timmy will always have a baby face.
Heather/Hillary will never be a shade darker than albino and is always cheery
29.
Sarah is really ditzy, but also usually pleasant and really hot. Sara is too, but not quite as ditzy. Something about that “h”, I guess.
Catherine, Katherine, or any derivative thereof (Kate, Katie, Cat, Cathy) is fucking crazy. I’ve dated one of each—with a C and with a K—and each is more fucking insane than the other.
Max is quirky, nerdy, and probably a little awkward.
If your name is Liam you seriously just need to stop.
30.
I don’t know about others but any iteration of Katelynn, Katie, Caitlynn, etc. They’re bat shit crazy.
31.
I don’t know about others but any iteration of Katelynn, Katie, Caitlynn, etc. They’re bat shit crazy.
32.
Most (female) Jordans and Sam(antha)s have been all sorts of catty and mean. Also, Amber. Have yet to meet a nice one.
33.
Callies are always bouncy, cute, and excitable.
34.
Briannas are bitches, Omars smell and Marys are sluts.
35.
For a man, if he’s over 21, and he still uses the kid-version of his name: i.e., Johnny, Tommy, Sammy, etc. I can tell right away that he is an attention whore.
36.
Mackenzies are always two-faced.
37.
Sam is always the nicest guy in the room.
38.
Erin. Seriously … every one I’ve ever met was a complete cunt. The main one cried rape on a bunch of random dudes (all separately, at the same party) and even went as far as making police reports on two of them, before it all came out it was a lie.
FWIW, I don’t like any of the people she accused of rape either, so I’m neutral on the whole thing. But she’s a cunt and I hope she gets hit by a bread truck.
39.
Every Michelle I’ve ever met that I can remember has been fat.
Every single one.
40.
Paul is always almost in the friend circle, but is never invited to the fun stuff. Probably because he’s really dry and lacks unique traits.
41.
If your name is Maggie, you probably own a Lilly Pulitzer phone case and a Vera Bradley wallet.
42.
Every Gavin I’ve ever met has been a complete asshat.