40. Oh man. I had just turned 11 and recently discovered HBO or whatever late night cable porn and had been watching for a few months. Some shows you’d get full frontal male nudity, but mostly you’d just get female full frontal and everything except the dude’s dick.
I remember figuring this out and was watching this really hot scene with a guy and a girl and just being so frustrated cause all I wanted to see was his dick. Just remember thinking “come on show your fucking cock dude” and was like OH THAT’S WHAT BEING GAY MEANS. I had always been told it was a choice so the realization that it was just my natural, unbidden desires really turned my world upside down.
Years later I actually identify more as bi since, tbh, pussy is great, but definitely, definitely into men.
41. I finally accepted that masturbating to gay porn but closing my eyes and imagining boobs just as I came wasn’t enough to make me straight.