34. When I saw the high school football players and cheerleaders, and had no interest in ogling the cheerleaders. For some reason I was more interested in the deep voices, muscular bodies, and broad shoulders, of the football players than the cheerleaders.
35. One of my gay friends was telling me how he realized he was gay and I found myself relating to everything he was saying. Before that, I thought I was asexual. I knew I wasn’t into girls but had never really seriously contemplated whether or not I was into guys, perhaps because I was afraid of the conclusion I’d reach, so I just settled on thinking I was asexual. In hindsight, I’d always been into guys, I just misinterpreted all my feeling of attraction as feelings of jealousy. I’d see a hot guy and tell myself that I really wanted to look like him and that that was why I couldn’t stop staring. It made sense at the time, even though it sounds absurd in retrospect.
During that conversation, the realization that I had been in denial for years just hit me and I knew I was gay.