50 Harsh Truths That Will Help You Find Your Forever Person

Real love is messy. Real love is complicated. In order to find real love, you should know these harsh truths from Ask Reddit.

1. Your spouse isn’t going to be perfect. You’re not going to be perfect. There will be mistakes and misunderstandings. What really matters in a relationship is not being perfect, but how you handle the imperfections of yourself and your spouse in a respectful, reasonable way.

2. When you disagree, remember that you’re on the same team. You’re supposed to fight a problem, not the other person.

3. Always be mindful and thoughtful to that person’s ‘love map.’

Like they might need a quick text every morning when you get to work letting them know you’re safe. Makes ZERO sense to you but knowing it’s something small and means the world to them, well why the hell not?

They might get stressed out and you helping to clean the house for when they’ve finished work might mean more to them than someone else you’ve been with who wanted flowers to show love.

Know what it is that your partner loves and makes them feel loved too.

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again

Nothing scares me more than someone loving me one day and deciding they don’t want me the next. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.

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