46. You know that thing where you go out to dinner with a bunch of people, everybody orders expensive stuff and wine and desert, but you just order an inexpensive salad? Then the bill comes, and they decide to split it, and say you owe $235 for your inexpensive salad?
Yeah, fuck that.
Me: “Hey, guys, I ordered a $10 salad, I’m not paying $235.” I guess that is not really selfish, just sticking up for yourself. What co-diner would be pissed if you said this? None. So, what I am saying, if this ever happens to you, speak up and don’t go with the program. No one will judge you.
Source: Happened to me once. Once.
So, for you youngsters, they say you should learn from others’ mistakes? Learn this one.
And, make double-damn sure you ask up front if you are paying your own way, or splitting equally, when you are first asked to go. That way, you can pass. That’s the other thing I learned and do. “Hey, is this a pay your own way, or split equal deal? I’m a light eater and don’t want to pay $235 for a $12 salad.” That’s what you say. In a joking way, but makes the point.
This is if you’re not going out for some important meeting with your bosses bosses boss. Or something like that. That’s a different situation.