1. The expectation that you must be around family. Many people have very dysfunctional and abusive people in their families. I get constantly berated at work and out and about how I should do this or that with family. No thanks.
2. I’m at that stage in life where I have lost many people I love. There are a lot of empty chairs at my table AND I MISS THEM. I miss them every day, I miss their smiles, I miss their voices, I miss texting them random thoughts, I miss the inside jokes.
I especially miss them during the holidays, not so much because the holidays have any special significance to me, because they don’t, but because everyone is talking about family and large parts of mine are MISSING. Every commercial and holiday special is a reminder of ones who are no longer here.
But heaven forbid I BE SAD. Heaven forbid I want to cry and smile and laugh and grieve. Heaven forbid I be anything other than plastic and perfect and joyful and all the rest.
Heaven forbid I be human.
3. “When are you finishing school?”
“Why are you single?”
“What are you doing after graduation?”
All this from people who speak to me only during Christmas.