45. For me, it’s getting going in the morning. I have to deal with dizziness, a racing heart, and oftentimes, an upset stomach.
Sucks having chronic anxiety.
46. Anxiety at night is horrifying. Laying in bed trying to unwind to go to sleep and BAM a thought enters your mind that you can’t make go away. Maybe you said something stupid three years ago. Maybe you start doubting if you’ve set your alarm. Maybe it’s some assignment you haven’t started yet. Maybe it’s something you have to do tomorrow or the next day.
And then you finally get to sleep, only you’re not resting. Because the anxiety follows you into your dreams. You can feel your heart pounding through the sleep paralysis. You dream about the things stressing you out, or maybe about random embarrassing situations. Or difficult situations. You don’t sleep well. Again.
You wake up unrested and unwell. You have to start your day or someone will be mad at you, or you’ll fail somehow, or you’ll get fired. You push through, hoping tonight will be different.
47. I want to go to the gym, but there are people there. Fuck.