17. In order to avoid a mandatory Christmas social for work, I legitimately took myself to the ER just to get the registration wristband (for proof that I actually went to the hospital) and then left. Wasn’t sick or anything, and I didn’t even see a doctor. I just needed a hospital wristband to prove that I had a reason not to go to the work mixer (so I wouldn’t get fired).
I hated my coworkers.
18. Lived in a loft downtown on the 3rd Floor. The amount of times I used the stairs in effort to not being trapped on an elevator with a stranger is too many to count. One time there was a family moving in. I walked all the way around the building to the opposite side’s entrance to get into the building.
Then they were using the elevators, so I took the stairs, then they were ON MY FLOOR moving shit in. I didn’t want it to look like I was trying this hard to avoid them, so I said, “whoops! Wrong floor” and walked up 2 extra floors and waited 10 minutes before going back down to see if they were gone.
What should’ve taken me 5 minutes took me close to 30 to get in my apartment. That’s when I realized I might have a problem.