33. Don’t answer her phone when she goes to the bathroom.
“Oh where do I begin?
-invite me to your neighborhood to get food only for us to go to your place for you to microwave a chicken breast, put it in a tortilla, and call it a quesadilla (no sauce, nothing)
-proceed to rant about your game of thrones theories for 90 minutes, not allowing me any words in the conversation
-vent about your family drama and how your dad is a leading researcher in HIV treatment and made you do a HIV test and was waiting to give the results back to you
-Answer my phone when I go to the bathroom (didn’t ask and didn’t even tell me it rang)
-play FTL for a solid 2h, not asking me anything and getting sauced on honey whiskey
-call me a solid 6
-introduce me to your neighbor as your girlfriend on the first date while I’m trying to leave
-Also while I’m trying to leave tell me it’s okay, I should stay over at your place because there isn’t a lot of your mother’s jewelry around for me to steal (?!)
If you’re still reading this, this all happened in one bad first date with some guy who seemed normal at work and dude was surprised af that he didn’t get a second date.”