20 Things That Make A Man Attractive


1. Eye contact.

“When their eyes become softer while looking at you.”


2. Kindness.

“Being kind just for the sake of it. And nice, dangly balls.”


3. Passion.


I don’t care what you’re passionate about, as long as it’s safe and sane. It could be something conventional like painting, traveling, architecture. My favorite is when it’s something totally obscure. Do you collect left socks? Do you have a passion for postage stamps dated between 1942-1950? If it’s something I don’t, and will never, understand, I find it way more fun to get to know you/your experiences/the way your mind works, because I will find it so baffling. This is probably because I, myself, am a fucking nutter.

Even aside from this, if your passion is a sport, or drawing—it’s an indicator that you have the ability to love intensely. My SO loves football, which many people may find boring—but the way he keeps up with the matches, gets into the scores, and keeps track of it all, I find endearing. One of my first boyfriends hid his obsession with Warhammer from me, stashing the models under his bed like they were naughty mags. When I found it, he got 10 x more attractive. He has a hobby. He spends his spare time developing his skills into something that takes strategy, creativity, and competitive energy. Though I may not have been interested in it myself, the attributes that come with it are most certainly ones I’d look for in a partner.

I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I know what I mean.”


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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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