1. Your marriage is your marriage, not anyone else’s. Don’t try to compare your marriage to other married couples. Just because the Jones vacation together every year doesn’t mean you have to. My wife and I take vacations together, but we also take short solo vacations. Its ok to spend time apart and have separate interests. Understand that you both will continue to grow and change as people. Be willing to accept that with yourself AND your partner. It’s ok that you are not the exact same person as when you got married.
2. It’s important to have a discussion and agree on what your goals actually are as a couple/family (when you have kids, bring them in on goals also!). If you’re having trouble making decisions, run it past your goals, which decision is going to help us reach this thing we said we both wanted sooner. It helps put things in perspective sometimes. And it lets me say “are those shoes worth giving up buying a house for another few months?” a lot.
3. Know that you cannot be everything to your spouse. Allow them “alone” time where they can regroup or enjoy a hobby. When they greet you, they will be recharged and ready to enjoy time with you.