1. We take off our clothes and she has a brown doo-doo line in her underwear.
“We take off our clothes and she has a brown doo-doo line in her underwear. I made an excuse saying I forgot I had a meetup with my group about a project I needed to finish for our class.”
2. His dick looked like ET’s finger.
“He pulled his dick out and it looked like ET’s finger.”
3. He asked if he could call me his sister’s name while we banged.
“The dude asked if he could call me ‘Heather’ while we banged. Heather is his sister’s name.”
4. She smelled like the bottom layer of a landfill site.
“Met a girl at the bar. Tiny, gorgeous, and horny for me as any woman I’ve ever known. We get back to my place and not a second is wasted, straight to the bedroom. Clothes off in a matter of seconds, necking, groping, squeezing, all the good stuff. She grabs my crank and goes for it with everything she’s got. Before I broke one open, I stopped her, told her it’s time for me to return the favor. I slide her thong down, she parts her legs and I kiss my way up to the big prize…only to be greeted by what smelled like the bottom layer of a landfill site. I didn’t even politely ask her to have a shower, I just told her I couldn’t ever touch anything that smelled like that. My name was mud with her and her friends after that but it’s never felt so good to beat off as it did after I showed her the door.”