15. HOLY FUCK IT’S A FUCKING INSANE LOOKING DUDE WEARING A DRESS AND HAS HIS HAIR IN SMALL BRAIDS WITH RUBBER BANDS.
“So not sure this counts as wilderness…but me and my girlfriend did this off-trail hike that had an extremely long and steep climb to reach a small rock overhang that looked over cliffs and ocean. As it came in view we noticed there was an old lady already sitting up there with a sketch pad in her hand.
So we started making jokes saying that maybe it is not a woman, and its actually Norman Bates waiting to throw us off the cliff. So for 20 mins we are kidding around along these lines. For the final approach you could not see the top because it was so steep.
So we finally make it onto this tiny overhang and the old woman turns around to looks at us AND HOLY FUCK IT’S A FUCKING INSANE LOOKING DUDE WEARING A DRESS AND HAS HIS HAIR IN SMALL BRAIDS WITH RUBBER BANDS. And to be clear this was not a trans person looking to be herself in the wilderness, this was escaped convict, hardened face looking psychopath. We said ‘hello’ and he said nothing but just stared at us. We tried to act like we did not just shit our Patagonia’s and calmly about faced and headed down.”