34. ‘You’re stupid’ and the ‘F’ word are used quite liberally 24/7.
“One male voice here, started shortly after turning 28. It’s very similar to hearing someone just speak, the tone is a little different. But it can change tones with effort and it will mimic knocks or sounds from outside to get your attention, whisper something as you walk pass people to make you think they are talking about you, etc. Mostly mean childlike games involving basic psychology or behavioral conditioning in my case. Always trying to keep my attention focused on it and using repetitive words or phrases to elicit emotional responses, which can be quite effective. The actually used words are very limited in my case which is likely less than 20 words, ‘you’re stupid’ and the ‘F’ word are used quite liberally 24/7.
I suppose I’ve been one of the lucky ones as I’ve always found it more comical then anything, so there has never been the need for medication, even if it has been very annoying at times. After about 12 years later I ended with an auto-immune which made the voice more influential as I became weaker mentally and physically. What I found to help me the most then, was simply exercising my mind occasionally. Working on my sense of sound like a musician would, learning to distinguish different tones and sounds. Working with the other senses as well to focus intently on the physical reality, doing math, language, pretty much a full mental workout. On top of working on my will power by making myself feel certain emotions or countering negative emotions with other emotions. etc. It takes work and time, but then most good things do and like most things you do it gets easier and easier.”
35. The older-sounding male was always against me. Always trying to get me to commit murder/suicide.
“Well, I heard 3 voices. 2 male and 1 female. The younger sounding male was chaotic, always switched between being nice and being against me. The older-sounding male was always against me. Always trying to get me to commit murder/suicide. The female was mostly nice. I heard them as clearly as if they were sitting right next to me. When I was a kid, I made imaginary friends, that I could see, to keep me company. The winter after I turned 12, the bullies at my school (The second of the 3 schools I’ve been to) got worse, and my grandma moved out, on my mom’s command. My imaginary friends disappeared one day, but the voices stuck around. I started cutting (not the flimsy way with a razor, but with a knife I got from the scouts. About 15cm long), because then the voices got quiet. I noticed that after I got hurt, falling from a swing. I tried committing suicide 3 times, all times by cutting deeper than normal. I got hospitalized at 17 years old. This was the first time someone actually listened to me. I got medicine after a couple of months, and they helped. I stopped hearing voices after a while, and got out of the ward after 6 months. After another 6 months, I got a psychiatrist that actually listened to me and diagnosed me with schizophrenia when I was 18. I am now 19, and I haven’t been able to go to school since I got hospitalized. I can’t concentrate, I can’t remember. I am currently in the process of lowering my doses, so I in the end can live without the medicine.”