17. When caught shoplifting, she purposely started peeing her pants.
“A woman getting caught stealing at Home Depot and then peeing through her pants to try and get the loss prevention guy to let go of her.
I can still hear him clear as day: ‘WHAT THE **** LADY. WHY!?’”
18. Two homeless people fucking in public until police Tasered them apart.
“Downtown Tempe on NYE about 15 years ago we were walking back to our cars after midnight. when we spotted some police surrounding a big green electric junction box. As we got closer we found it was two totally naked homeless people a guy and a girl.
They were doing it doggy style behind the box and determined to finish. When they realized the cops weren’t willing to touch them in the act they started waddling around and waving to the crowd like it was a parade, the dude still humping her like a rabbit. Mace was sprayed, batons used as pry bars. At one point the guy got his concentration on and looked like he was actually going to finish. Nothing stopped them until a Taser was deployed and they both fell face first onto mill street like sacks of concrete the woman got Tasered via their “connection” as far as I could tell. The whole scene lasted upwards of 15 minutes.
I’m still both scarred and entertained thinking of it.”
19. Oral sex on a Greyhound bus.
“I was riding Greyhound, so I should have expected some shit. During the course of my trip two passengers, one male, the other female, got to talking and it turned out that they had both been released from prison recently. The guy had a bottle of liquor which they started sharing. This led to him performing oral sex on her, legs up on the seat in front of them, and eventually full on fucking. Somehow, they were not asked to get off the bus. Greyhound at its finest.”