27. I had to bring my seven-year-old brother to rescue my mom from a drunken attempted fireman rape orgy.
“When I was sixteen my mother joined a group for single professional moms. She met with the organizers, and they invited her to an event they had scheduled for the next evening. The event was a screening of First Wives Club at a historic theater, and they had gotten a bunch of local firefighters to volunteer to be ushers. They were to greet each member with a rose and a glass of champagne, and then escort her to her seat. But you asked for trashy, not classy, right? Stay with me here.
My mother did not drive, so I dropped her off and promised to pick her up in two hours. Forty minutes later I was back at the theater, my little brother in tow, looking at a large crowd of police and curious onlookers. My mom had called to tell me there had been an incident, and could I please come get her. This was before cell phones, so we marched up to an amused looking officer, who escorted us into the theater. Inside we were greeted by the sight of a dozen or so well-dressed, scuffed-up, and very blotto middle-aged women in cuffs, and many very pissed off, rumpled firefighters. Apparently, quite a few of the club members had overindulged in the free champagne, and asked the firefighters to demonstrate how quickly they could suit up. The firefighters obliged them by stripping off their gear. This was not enough for the women. They wanted it all off. While Diane Keaton shrieked at her cheating husband, these inebriated single moms decided to ‘help’ the firefighters with the rest of their clothes. No was not an option, and they were quite forceful. That’s about when the cops were called. According to my officer escort, when they arrived the lobby was a scene of utter chaos; high heels had been kicked off, hair had been mussed, alarmed firemen scratched up and clothing torn. These men had been trained to enter burning buildings; they had not been prepared for something like this. These were dumpster fires of a different sort.
My officer friend pulled my mom out of a side office where she had been hiding with a couple of other women, and we were sent on our way. For years after, any time my mom got on me about something, I’d bring up the time I had to bring my seven-year-old brother to rescue her from a drunken attempted fireman rape orgy.”
28. I see her mom laying on the couch with her nightgown pulled up and her dad standing in front of her with his pants down.
“When I was 9 y/o, I had a good friend that had a very trashy family. My parents would never let me stay overnight at her house. For some reason this one time my mom said I could. Her mistake. My friend fell asleep while we were watching a movie in the living room that evening with her 15 y/o brother, who was already missing one front tooth. After a while he whispers, ‘Hey look,’ I turned to look at him and witness my first hard dick. He’s got his pants pulled down just enough to show it meanwhile grinning at me. Then starts begging me to suck it until I tell him I’m going to wake up his sister and tell her if he doesn’t stop. He quit. When the movie was over, I woke her up and said we should go to bed. So the two of us got upstairs to her bedroom and go to bed. Lucky for me her brother’s room is downstairs. Now, her parents had newspaper laid out on the floor in the corner of her room and a coffee can sitting in the middle of it. I didn’t ask her why. I wake up in the middle of the night and need to pee. I make my way down the stairs heading to the bathroom. Halfway down I see her mom laying on the couch with her nightgown pulled up and her dad standing in front of her with his pants down. The mom looks at me, whispers something and the dad turns and sees me (BAM seeing my second hard dick in my life, in one night). He yanks his pants up and runs to me yelling, ‘Get your ass back upstairs!’ I told him I needed to use the bathroom. He yells, ‘That’s what the coffee can in the bedroom is for!’ I ran to the bathroom, shut the door, turn on the light, watch the cockroaches scatter, and pee real quick. I run back up to the bedroom and lay awake all night. In the morning I go to the kitchen and use the phone to call my mom to come get me ASAP while watching my friend’s mom with a gallon jug of milk, half full, adding water to it until the jug is full. So yeah. That was the trashiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”