1. Badmouthing the other parent.
“Badmouthing the other parent. I understand you might lose your shit during a divorce, but keep your kids out of it. My parents’ divorce really fucked me up emotionally, not because they got a divorce, but because of how they behaved as a result. Get some therapy if you can’t handle it.”
2. Staying together and arguing instead of getting a divorce.
“Stay together instead of getting a divorce because they think it’s ‘better for the kid that way.’ So instead of what could be a peaceful, amicable separation, they force themselves to stay together, leading to constant fighting, resentment, cursing, and ultimately the kid growing up in a love-less household that doesn’t feel safe. :( Source: this was my situation growing up.”
3. Trying to be their friend, not their parent.
“Social worker of 25 years here and I can tell you the number one thing is trying to be their friend not their parents. Kids need a calm authority figure to enforce rules and expectations, especially teenagers. Kids need to have reasonable boundaries and expectations and need to know that they will be enforced and that their behavior has repercussions.