27. You break the law, and you’ll get sent to a cold, unforgiving, and merciless place where death will be a mercy for some.
“I was brought to county, they had me up against a wall. I took off my belt, they removed everything from my pockets, but they didn’t check my ass or mouth for anything. I ended up in a cell with 9 other guys, a few of which were drug addicts, I could tell from the marks on their arms. Most of them were career criminals, I could tell that from what they were telling each other. All of them were trying to sound and act tough.
I was then processed. Photographed, had my fingerprints, and palms recorded. I was then taken with a few of the guys from my shared cell to a separate room where they gave us clothes and told us to strip. We changed and moved on to a block where there were open beds and tables.
I remember it being fucking freezing in there. Multiple guys sized me up and checked me out. I was in there for only 3 days, and I lost count how many times someone tried to mess with me or steal from me. People watched TV or played cards. The whole time in there, we were all treated equally like rabid animals, or sometimes objects.
Not once did I get sympathy, nor any form of humanity from any of the guards or prisoners. In and out, that is their job. Get you in, hold you for however long, and get you out. Either to society, or to prison.
In those three days, I was with a mass murderer, and didn’t even know it. I found out when we went to see the judge for ruling. He had killed 12 people in the last six months, and brutally raped an elderly woman.
The fact that this terrorized me, and it wasn’t even the big house, is what will keep me on the right side of the law. There’s no rehabilitation of any kind in the U.S. ‘justice’ system. It is fear, pure and simple, that keeps people on the right side of the law. Not a teaching of morality, nor of emotions. Straight simple fear.
You break the law, and you’ll get sent to a cold, unforgiving, and merciless place where death will be a mercy for some.”
28. It was terrifying because I’ve never felt so scared of a lot of things…and there’s no one I could tell. I was truly alone.
“The isolation. Not just the hole. I mean, yeah, that was shit, too. But the isolated feeling that followed me the entire three years, six months, nineteen days of my bit. It followed me out, as well.
I was sentenced in Indiana, but was sent to a corporately owned facility in Kentucky. The drive for any family was a minimum of 8-9 hours. So I never saw them. Friends just kind of…evaporated. Understandable…but so lonely. It was terrifying because I’ve never felt so scared of a lot of things…and there’s no one I could tell. I was truly alone. No one I could talk to about it. What you gonna do, tell your cellie? Haha.
I’ve been out for 12 years now. Never had any more trouble. Most people I work with have no idea I have that dark past…but it’s there.”