1. ‘The Witch’s Kiss.’
“Sitting down in a public restroom and your dick touches any part of the toilet.”
2. ‘The Bat Wing.’
“Getting your balls stuck to your inner thighs sucks mightily. I call it ‘the bat wing’ and there is no discreet way to get rid of it.”
3. Urinary splashback.
“Approximately 20% of urinals seem like they were deliberately designed to splash you with your own piss.”
4. Testicular poker face.
“The feeling of hitting yourself in the balls and trying to act like nothing happened.”
5. The public scrotal pinch.
“Sitting down to a scrotum pinch when things aren’t arranged correctly. Cuz you can’t yelp in public, and really shouldn’t adjust in public.”