It Sucks To Be A Man: 66 Guys Explain Why

30. We’re routinely trivialized as untrustworthy or evil.

“How it is okay, even fashionable, to mock or trivialize men as being untrustworthy or evil. That and the lack of emotional support to cope with and recover from psychological pain.

The men who actually do evil things tend to be a product of abuse or prolonged emotional isolation. No one who goes off crossing personal boundaries or hurting others does so when they feel understood.”


31. We are depicted as perverts if we have sex toys, whereas women are celebrated for it.

“If we buy sex toys for ourselves we are massive perverts, but women buying dildos/vibrators—totally normal. Something, something, equality, something.”


32. We’re all viewed as potential rapists.

“The fact that we’re all viewed as ‘potential rapists.’”


33. We get accused of ‘mansplaining’ no matter what point we’re trying to make.

“I get accused of mansplaining a lot when the truth is I’m just trying to make sure I’m being understood. The desire the be understood is something that is universal to all life.”


34. We’re expected to ‘be a man’ about our mental health issues.

“The mental health stigma is still a huge issue. ‘Just be a man about it, stop being a pu***,’ all while struggling with grief and crippling depression…or any mental health illness to be fair.”


35. We have no choice when it comes to child support and custody issues.

“Child support and custody issues. Woman gets to decide whether or not to have the kid in the first place. If he wants it and she doesn’t, he’s out of luck.

And if she wants it and he doesn’t, well he’s out of luck too. Plus, out of 18 years’ worth of child support.

Yeah, I know…wear a condom. But no birth control method is 100%. That’s an expensive equipment failure.”


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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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