It Sucks To Be A Man: 66 Guys Explain Why

18. We don’t get believed when we say females bully us, too.

“The fact that few people believe that males get bullied by females. Males are expected to deal with it or to stop exaggerating.”


19. We are only valued for our paycheck.

“You are your job. It’s the single, overriding factor used to evaluate your identity and your value to the world. Your primary value in a household is the paycheck you contribute to it. In many cultures, even our surnames are derived from occupations.

An unemployed or underemployed man is persona non grata in a way that women fundamentally do not understand. Your chances of divorce jump dramatically when the man in the marriage loses his job, but not the woman.

The resentment women feel over only being valued for their looks? Yeah, I feel that exact same resentment over only being valued for my paycheck. Oh, but I’m also expected to be good-looking.”


20. We’re expected to make the first move.

“99% of the time, having to be the one who makes the first move for any potential relationship type things.”


21. We aren’t allowed to share our feelings.

“Men aren’t ‘allowed’ to share their feelings and consequently have a much higher suicide rate.”


22. We’re expected to do all the dirty work.

“Who gets to change the flat tire when you’re on the highway with your S/O?”


23. We’re the one who is expected to ‘perform’ during sex.

“Always being the one who is expected to ‘perform’ when it comes to sex. It would be nice, if just occasionally, you made the effort to please me and didn’t just expect multiple orgasms because you’ve deemed me worthy of getting near your lady bits.”


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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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