7. Drove my riding lawnmower to the town bar.
“Drove my riding lawnmower to the town bar.”
8. Shot at a woodpecker in my underwear.
“We had this woodpecker who would constantly peck at our chimney in the spring/summer. In the summer mornings my dad would go outside in his underwear and shoot at it to make it stop. One day I was looking after the house while my parents were away and the woodpecker decided to bang on the chimney at 5am. Not knowing what else to do I found myself outside in my underwear shooting at a woodpecker.”
9. Shot prairie dogs off my back porch for entertainment.
“Shot prairie dogs off my back porch for entertainment (and pest control, their holes will fuck up steers and horses) over winter break. I had a bit of a moment when I realized I was just sitting on the porch with a rifle and a book, shooting and then reading while I waited for the prairie dogs to resurface.”
10. Murdered a rattlesnake then ate it.
“Some friends and I were hiking to our campsite about 6 miles from the nearest road. There was a rattlesnake there when we arrived. Dudes dropped a rock on its head. Then we skinned it, grilled it, and ate it…”
11. Got wasted on Tennessee moonshine.
“Got wasted on moonshine that my coworker from Tennessee dripped himself.”
12. I pooped next to a river and used my shirt to wipe.
“Well, I pooped next to a river and used my shirt to wipe and then left my shirt under a rock in the river.
I tossed empty beer cans into the back of a pickup.
Do either of those qualify?”