24. Due to me being squished right up to the back of the sofa, I could hardly move, with my arms pinned to my sides.
“I was crashing over at a friend’s house when I was about 19. There were a group of us, and we payed ‘I Have Never’ and, against my wishes, my virginity was exposed to the group.
One of the girls in the group has always pitied me strongly. I have dwarfism, and she straight-up treats me like a charity case most of the time. Rarely speaking to me without a soft smile and a simpering tone of voice, like you would to a toddler (despite me being 2 years older than her). When it was revealed that I was still a virgin, she made an exaggerated sad face and said ‘aww.’ I knew she was loving it, and I did my best to contain my anger at her patronizing reaction. For the rest of the night she would keep glancing over to me and making that same sad face. I’m not a violent person at all, but I genuinely wanted to punch her in those moments.
Fast-forward to us falling asleep. As luck would have it, I ended up having to share a sofa with her. I could feel her pressed up against me, and I felt sick. Due to me being squished right up to the back of the sofa, I could hardly move, with my arms pinned to my sides. Knowing her complete lack of respect for others’ personal space, I even thought to myself masochistically, ‘you know she’ll probably do something, don’t you?’
Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the middle of the night to a hand slipping into my sleeping bag. I was frozen in horror for a few moments, even thinking to myself ‘You should like this. Stay still, you might grow to like it.’ But I didn’t. I really didn’t. I wanted to be sick. I wanted to retaliate—to hurt her. I grabbed her hand and awkwardly tried to push it away with my limited range of movement. I’d never felt such intense distress and…something else I can’t really articulate. She didn’t retract, though. She stayed right up against me and said whispered in a frustrated tone, ‘I’m doing you a favor!’ I didn’t say anything; I was too preoccupied trying to manage my breathing and panic.
That was by far the worst night I’ve ever had. I hated that I had to lie there for the rest of the night (not wanting to cause a scene with the rest of my friends all in the room). I lay there rigid, sweating, and wide awake for 9 hours. My muscles ached for 2 days after. Ever since that happened, the very idea of physical intimacy gives me panic attacks. I still don’t know if I ever want to pursue sex or a relationship.”
25. If a man pulled that shit on a woman there would be some heavy consequences, if not legal repercussions.
“In my own apartment, after a night of heavy drinking, went into my bed (alone), closed my door and passed out.
Fast-forward about two hours to my friend’s girlfriend on top of me trying to get my limp (sleepy, drunk) dick inside of her. It took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on and I promptly kicked her out.
Apparently after her boyfriend fell asleep she tried to sneak in my room twice, only to be deterred by my roommate. Eventually he fell asleep and she snuck back in.
I told him (the boyfriend AKA my no-longer friend) what happened, they broke up, even with my roommate’s testimony that I was snoring up a storm when he caught her the first two times, he doesn’t believe I wanted no part of any of what happened.
If a man pulled that shit on a woman there would be some heavy consequences, if not legal repercussions. She just got dumped and clearly didn’t care.”