22. She pulled my pants off, started sucking me off, while I was still asking her to stop, and then she just started fucking me.
“I broke up with an ex like 6 months before who lead me through a pregnancy scare and I actually got herpes from her; which due to that, stress and a surgery I had before I lost roughly 30lbs of muscle (I was an in-shape guy).
She basically would tell me she was pregnant whenever I seemed like I wanted to break up with her. I did try to keep nice to her but went months without talking with her.
I met up and talked to her one day and I we both agreed to keep things cool between each other. She told me how good I was to her and so on and talked to me about a new guy she was dating.
A couple of weeks later I get a message that she thought someone was creeping around her house and that she was scared and all alone. She asked me to come over and hang out with her. I agreed.
When I got there, she was dressed like she wanted me to fuck her. When I got in her house we talked for a bit and then she started kissing me. I got up to leave and she basically jumped up and wrapped her legs around me and kept kissing me. I probably said stop well over 10 times. I could easily hit her and got her off of me, but I thought to myself: ‘Who are the cops going to believe? 6’2” me, or 5’2” her with a black eye?’ So I gave in. I laid down, she pulled my pants off, started sucking me off, while I was still asking her to stop, and then she just started fucking me. I then grabbed then picked her up and started fucking her like in fashion that was scary to me, because I had lost all control. I came. Finished up and immediately grabbed a garbage can to start puking.
As I sat there with tears in my eyes, I said, I’m telling your new boyfriend. She hit me said no, and told me she fucked my best friend a couple hours after we broke up. I left that night feeling shattered. I felt so bad and felt like it was all my fault. I felt guilty that she had a boyfriend and I wished that karma would pay me back. (I oddly enough feel like that cursed me) I messaged her on Facebook after saying: ‘I want tell your new boyfriend, but please stay away from me. I never want to talk to you again.’
I still haven’t had sex with someone else and it’s been 3+ years. My life has kind of fallen apart, but I’m trying desperately to get it back. She’s the only person that if I see in public I feel physically sick and scared. Again, I’m bigger than her and could easily beat the shit out of her. I’ve gotten addicted to porn and I think a lot about whether or not I should just sleep with prostitutes. I tried talking to a counselor about it, but I think I talk about it with no emotion about it, so they don’t think it’s a big deal.”
23. She texted me and jokingly apologized for ‘Basically raping me,’ and that was the first time I realized what actually happened.
“During my first semester in college, I was talking to this girl for a while. She was a year older than me and at least a little out of my league, but we got along really well and I enjoyed spending time with her.
I guess I had a bit of a crush on her. One night, I ran into her on my way back from a party. I was very drunk and she insisted on walking me home. Back in my dorm, she came onto me pretty hard and before I knew it we were kissing in my bed.
At a certain point, she pulled her head away and asked if I’d ever fucked a girl on her period. I said no and told her I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it. She insisted on taking my ‘period virginity’ as she called it. I was very drunk at this point and was verbally expressing I didn’t want to.
But she kept going, she wrapped her legs around me telling me to relax and shushing me and she just kind of had her way with me.
I didn’t really think of it as rape. I got hard, I came. All my guy friends were hi-fiving me. She texted me and jokingly apologized for ‘Basically raping me,’ and that was the first time I realized what actually happened. It’s been hard for me to decide if I was truly raped. I could’ve physically stopped her, I didn’t. I kind of just gave up and let her do what she wanted.”