16. The girl that hated games
Met this girl online, and the way the conversations went it was always friendly, getting to know you type banter. After a few online conversations, we meet up at a bar by her. The plans for the evening were to have drinks there then go play Donkey Kong Country at her place. Being the oblivious male I am, I genuinely was excited to play some DKC on Super Nintendo.
We meet up at the bar and things go fine. I wasn’t really attracted to her at all, but she was nice and we had an alright time at the bar. So we get back to her place and start watching TV. I look around and don’t see a Super Nintendo. Thought maybe it was in her bedroom. I don’t mention it because I don’t want to be rude. She makes some drinks. We’re watching Drunk History when all of a sudden she looks at me with murder in her eyes “Are we going to stop playing games?!”
I look at her, smiling, trying to play it off, “Do you mean Donkey Kong Country?” She really didn’t appreciate that. She scoffs and then proceeds to chide me about how guys are always wanting to play games and want sex. I told her the only game I was wanting to play was DKC. This is when it got weird. She gets up off the couch, calmly, walks to the kitchen and pulls a butcher knife out of somewhere. She just stands in the kitchen, still with the look of murder in her eyes, and stares me down. She doesn’t move at all, just staring at me with the butcher knife at her side. I look back for what feels like a few minutes, and then I jump up and dash for the front door.
I didn’t even bother closing the door, behind me I hear the door slam hard, and she’s shouting at the top of her lungs, “FUCKING ASSHOLE, PLAYING GAMES, FUCK YOU”.
So a night of what I was hoping to be relaxing, friendly conversation, and Donkey Kong Country, turned into my “maybe I could have been murdered” dating story.
17. Reconnecting With An Old Friend
I was on a train coming home from work and saw this GORGEOUS girl. Couldn’t keep my eye off her. Then I realized I used to go to church with her like 15 years before! We weren’t friends… it was early puberty for me so I was still in the picking on girls and being mean to them phase, but oh well, that’s in the past! I went up, asked her how she’s been what’s she’s been up to. Ah reconnecting! I asked her where she worked, and she told me, turned out we were about a block apart in the city, so I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch one day.
The next day, I text her, we grab lunch, and it’s going splendid, but something is off….. She is asking very general, ‘first date’ questions. Now, while I’m more than happy to answer, it was bothering me…. then it hit me. She didn’t remember me
I must have been so friendly, confident, or something when I approached her on the train that she agreed to the date. And now here I am, thinking I’m reconnecting with someone, and she didn’t remember me!….
Well, the date went great anyway, she had off the next day so we decided to meet up the day after…. Fast-forward to the next night and I get a text from her.
“I just remembered who you are. Don’t text me again. Don’t come near me on the train.”
Apparently, 12-year-old me was an asshole.
18. Inappropriate and NSFL First Date Story
Matched on tinder with a guy who decided that a great story to tell in detail on our date was about the time he fisted a lady and tore her up so bad inside that she was bleeding profusely and had to go to the hospital to get stitches.
After he was done telling the story, he told me he was glad I told him I was super squeamish, because now he wouldn’t try to show me pictures of all the blood he had saved on his phone. He also said he had been on well over 100 tinder dates, and I had managed to land in his top 10.