35. An UnBEARable Divide
It’s 2001, so VHS & chill at this girl’s dorm room.
My first time over there, and there is this giant bear on the bed. Like, got the softball in the milk jug at the carnival first try tier bear. It occupies 50% of the surface area.
I say “whoa, how’d you score that bear?”
Her: “I don’t know…”
Her: “I don’t know”
A few minutes go by.
Me: “You don’t know?”
Me: “Ok, look. It’s ok if it’s from an ex. I don’t care if you stole it. I’ll believe almost anything you tell me at this point. But there is no way in hell you’re going to tell me you don’t know where that giant bear is from. I had a stuffed dinosaur 1/4 that size that I got when I was 6 and I could tell you every detail about how I got it.”
Her: “Well good for you. But I don’t know how I got it. Are you going to be able to let this go?”
Me: (looks at bear, bear stares back, eyes full of secrets) “I don’t think I can” (walk out).
36. Porn On All The TVs
Went out with a customer from my work (I was a bartender, so I got hit on quite a bit, but this was the first time I’d actually gone out with someone). He took me to a bar near his apartment. The place was really dive-y and a little too hipster for my taste, but whatever. We were having a great time talking and enjoying some drinks when I suddenly notice the TVs behind the bar…. instead of playing sports or the news or something, they’re playing old porn movies. I brought it to his attention, and he kinda just shrugged it off and said it was normal for this place.
I actually thought it was pretty cool and this joint became one of my favorite bars (more for the cheap alcohol than the porn), but it was still a really strange place to bring someone on a first date.