32. A Glitch In The Matrix
It was my second date with this guy, and he said the exact same things that he said on the first date. Word-for-word. The same stories, the same “random thoughts,” the same questions… It freaked me out so much that at first I played along and answered in the exact same way, as though we were both following some weird, script. Eventually, I tried to break the mold and ask him new things, but he would just bring it back around to the same topics as last time. It was like I was in a computer program and there was a glitch. Still freaks me out to think of it.
33. Date Becomes Road Trip Becomes Torture Chamber On Four Wheels
I started talking to a girl I came across on a dating site. We made plans to meet about 1 week after we began talking. I ended up canceling the plans a few hours before we were supposed to meet. As I had something come up. Told her I was available the following day as we do not live in the same city. A few hours later she responded. Asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to another city a few hours west from where I’m located. She just wanted a co-pilot to keep her company. I agreed although, partially because I felt bad for changing plans at last minute the previous day.
I was skeptical, I’ve never just taken a random road trip with some girl that I haven’t met before. She picks me up in the morning. Not too awkward at first, easy conversation for the most part. Within 10 minutes of being on the road, she needs to piss.. but can’t wait for next gas station. She abruptly pulls over on side of highway and does her business. Ok, I’m thinking whatever you gotta go, you gotta go…right? The place we were traveling too is about 200km from where I lived. Let’s just say we had to make another 5 stops, 2 more on Highway and 3 gas stations before we arrived at our destination. Yes, I started to count after the 3rd stop. Anyways I’m definitely thinking this girl has some kind of std or issues. That’s a lot of piss breaks in such a short amount of time.
Okay, so I was told she needed to pick a few things up in ***** city. So it wasn’t just things it was her 74-year-old Grandmother! whom I would shortly be meeting for lunch, along with a few other members of her family. I said to her “wtf, you’re kidding right” …well she wasn’t. Well ffs, at this point I did not have much of a choice considering she is my ride back home…
Long story short, it was awkward as fuck. Her aunt a cousin and some family friend with her grandma. it was like a fricken family reunion. I felt like I was in some kind of dark comedy show, and I had to improvise bullshit. Anyways made it back home after 4 more pee breaks, and having to pretend/lie to her grandmother about actually knowing anything about this girl. Ya, I didn’t talk to her again. How is that for awkward?
34. A Total Shitshow At The Tapas Place
Meet a guy online. He asks me to dinner at a tapas place, I agree because I’m bored and he seems nice enough; we’d been texting for a couple weeks and it seemed chill. I get there and he’s late to meet me. Looks nothing like his profile (about 100 lbs heavier, bad skin, and is just dressed really sloppily) but I told myself not to be shallow. We are looking over the menu (which was fantastic btw) and I suggest a few things I’d like to eat and he begins saying he doesn’t eat sweet potatoes, aioli, capers, salmon, radish, arugula, kale, balsamic vinegar, etc.–basically all ingredients except for bread, meat, and cheese–and that he won’t eat any food if that’s what I order. I tell him to get what he wants then and I’ll get something for myself. We get our food and he is the messiest eater I’ve seen in my life, getting crumbs and food bits all over his shirt and the whole table and it was just painful to watch.
He also kept insisting I try his food, but I’m pescatarian and lactose intolerant so I declined, at which he began berating me and my food choices and being a “picky eater”. They clear our table for dessert and he then gets down on one knee and tries to give me a promise ring because he “felt a special bond with me and wanted to pledge his life to me” after having met online a few weeks before. Yeah, no thanks. Politely as I could, I declined, to which he started calling me expletives in the middle of the restaurant and then ugly crying and stormed out. So I had to pay for the terrible date HE asked ME on because I didn’t want to accept a pre-engagement ring. TL;DR guy I met online turns out to be really odd and throws a hissy fit when I refuse to wear a promise ring he bought