29. An Arranged Date Goes Terribly Wrong
I have so many, I could write a book. Let’s start with the first bad/weird date I’ve ever been on-
Got setup with the son of one of my mother’s friends from our Synagogue. He picks me up at my parent’s house (we were 16-17). Not even 10 minutes into the date, we were literally driving to a restaurant, he point blank asked me if I would rather give him head now or after dinner. To which I replied- excuse me? Perhaps I misheard him? And he smiled and replied slowly as if I was hard of hearing – are you going to suck my dick or what? At that point, I yelled at him to go fuck himself and pull over. I kept yelling pull over as loud as I could. He started to freak out but pulled over. I got out of the car and started walking home.
He followed next to me for a few blocks with the window rolled down imploring me not to tell his mom or my mom. I ignored him and refused to respond so he got frustrated called me an ugly skank and drove off. I got home (about an hour later as I walked all the way home- this was before cell phones) and told my mom what happened and she was justifiably mortified. She, in turn, calls his mother and tells her exactly what happened. The guy’s mom didn’t take it well and tried to put the blame on me, that “she asked for it.” Needless to say, my mom never talked to her again.
Other bad dates I’ve had include- a magician, a Craigslist personal ad, a nurse looking for drugs, a married man and so much more.
30. Happy Feet
This was in high school, some girl from our rival school and I met, hit it off. She really wanted to see the movie “Happy Feet”, the dancing penguin shit. Decide to take her, I like penguins anyways. I swear about half way through the movie she leans over to me and says, “Oh I get it, they’re dancing!”. I thought she was trying to be cute, but she was goddamn serious. This movie was her idea, I figured she knew. The fucking penguins were dancing for at least an hour before she said this to me. We lasted another week.
31. A Lot Of Assumptions Were Made
Met a girl online, decided that we should meet for a date. (I’m female BTW – this sort of matters). I arrived in a strange town that I didn’t know so I relied on her to show me around. She took me to a youth LGBT group, I thought we were staying, didn’t mind – it’s a bit odd but I was newly “out”.
Turns out it was just a chance for this girl to show off that she did, in fact, have a date (they didn’t believe her apparently) and I existed. It was really awkward. When the youth group leader came in, she stood up, grabbed my hand and said “later bitches” and we walked out.
Went to a bar for a drink, and then on for some food. It wasn’t going well, she was very odd, but I was new to all this, and in a town I didn’t know. Once we’d eaten she said, “oh I just need to see a mate who’s staying at xyz hotel” – fine, went to see this friend. Oh no. She’d booked a hotel room for us for the night! Yeah – I left pretty quickly after that. I may have been inexperienced, but I wasn’t about to be tricked into a night in a rough hotel with an odd little lesbian. No thank you.